16/08/2026
ME AS A PASTOR 😂😂
Church member:
“Pastorrrr 😭😭 I just found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I’m so heartbroken and devastated.”
Me as a pastor, (in my mind):
“Ah! 😳
What did I do??
Am I the one that cheated on you?
Why are you coming to me with this information? 😭😂”
Me as a pastor, (out loud):
“Ahhh, so sorry my dear. 😔 Take it easy on yourself. What happened?
Church member:
Pastor, I found out through his phone. I wasn't even looking for anything oo. Something just told me to check. Then I saw messages with one girl. I thought maybe it was just one person…”
“Pastor, this man has been cheating with different girls! 😭 He was even telling one of them the same things he tells me!”
Me as a pastor:
“Hmmmm… 😭
Okay. So the ministry of ‘I love you, you’re the only one’ has multiple branches?”
Church member:
Pastor, I don’t know whether to leave him or stay. I really love him.
Me as a pastor:
“Okay, okay. Let us pray first. 😂”
Father, in the name of Jesus…
“Lord, I ask for the grace for your daughter to be strong throughout this trying time.
If she decides to leave this relationship, Holy Spirit, please guide her steps, give her the strength to walk away, heal her heart, and help her enter her next relationship wiser, stronger and better.
But if she decides to remain in the relationship, Lord, give her the grace to stay alive and not die there.😭😂
Give her wisdom, discernment and common sense.
Let her not become FBI because of a relationship. 😂
Let her not spend every night checking WhatsApp last seen, Instagram followers and phone passwords. 😭
And Lord, if this man is truly for her, let him change.
But if he is not, Father…
please remove him before she removes herself from this earth.😭😭😂
In Jesus’ name…
Amen.
Church member:
“Pastor, thank you so much. I feel better.”
Me:
“Good. Now go and drink water. And please, don't check his phone again tonight. 😂”