11/05/2026
I am reflecting a little more on Mother’s Day this evening, writing this in bed, with a sleeping Finn next to me.
Until I was 39, I thought I would never become a mother, that I would never be able to get pregnant. Martin and I had more or less accepted that reality. And yet, somewhere deep inside me, there was always a quiet little voice whispering that one day I would have a son. I know that may sound a little spiritual or dreamy, but the feeling never really left me.
With a lot of determination, and medical help because of my endometriosis, I became pregnant with Finn. And so, at 40 years old, I became a mother after all.
Being Finn’s mother is without a doubt one of the most beautiful and joyful things I have ever experienced. I truly love being a mother. But at the same time, I also know with complete certainty that our life without Finn could have been beautiful too. Different, of course, but in another way just as meaningful and valuable.
For me, motherhood was never a given because of my illness. It was a very conscious choice. And I believe every woman should have the freedom to make that choice for herself. Whether you want children or not, both deserve equal respect. There is still so much judgment and taboo around that.
I do not believe every woman is automatically fulfilled by motherhood, and honestly, I also do not think every woman is meant to be a mother. Not every woman is a mother, wants to be a mother, or is able to become one. And not every mother became one entirely out of free will, even though it should always be a choice.
A lot of women feel pressured into motherhood and are looked at strangely when they choose not to have children. But it should always be a respectful conversation. And maybe we should stop asking women why they do not have children yet, or when they are having a second or third child. You never know whether those questions might be painful.
