Squeeze My Soul

Squeeze My Soul Peaceful, joyful parenting. Practical, progressive, positive parenting tools and techniques which empower parents to create the family of their dreams.

03/27/2016

In Asian languages, the word for "mind" and the word for "heart" are the same. So if you're not hearing mindfulness in some deep way as heartfulness, you're not really understanding it. Compassion and kindness towards oneself are intrinsically woven into it. You can think of mindfulness as wise and affectionate attention. ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn (2012)

03/27/2016
The Way of the Peaceful Parent

There's no two ways about it, spanking/smacking/hitting is physical violence against kids. There's ALWAYS a better, more peaceful, way. Well worth the listen and share....🙏🏼

In this TED talk Robyn Peters, founder of StopSpanking.org talks about the negative effects of smacking/ spanking on children and the corrolations between violence, bullying, domestic violence, substance abuse, mental illness and being spanked as a child. She also talks about how the more stressed and dysregulated children can be helped. When we know better, we do better.

This video helps parents get a better handle on what the more constructive approaches are when a child's behaviour is out of balance. It will also help to better understand the negative impacts on those of you who were hit in the name of discipline as children.

Robyn Peters: "What is at the root of physical violence against children? Spanking is at the root. It's the belief that we think it's okay to hit them. Spanking IS physical violence against children."

From youtube: "Robbyn Peters Bennett is a psychotherapist, educator, and child advocate who specializes in the treatment of trauma-related mental health problems resulting from the effects of early childhood stress, abuse and neglect. She is the founder of StopSpanking.org, a non-profit dedicated to educating the public on the dangers of spanking. She is on the steering committee of The U.S. Alliance to End the Hitting of Children. Robbyn is currently producing a documentary, The Last Resort, about the cultural practice of spanking children."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLMJHdySgE8&feature=youtu.be

Love this!
03/19/2016
Dr Vanessa Lapointe, R Psych

Love this!

This is a great list of books to add to your child's collection (or perhaps make it a fun outing to the library to find one or two of them?).

If I could choose one, I think it would be "Have You Filled A Bucket Today?"

Do you have a favourite book on this list?

Debbie Zeichner, LCSW-Parent Coach
03/10/2016
Debbie Zeichner, LCSW-Parent Coach

Debbie Zeichner, LCSW-Parent Coach

"How do you raise a powerful girl and what does that mean?
Powerful girls grow up feeling secure in themselves. They learn to take action, making positive choices about their own lives and doing positive things for others. They think critically about the world around them. They express their feelings and acknowledge the feelings and thoughts of others in caring ways. Powerful girls feel good about themselves and grow up with a “can-do” attitude. Of course, strong girls may (like all of us) have times of insecurity and self-doubt, but these feelings aren’t paralyzing because the girls have learned to work through their problems. Powerful girls will grow up to lead full, valuable lives."

Here are some experts’ ideas to help you raise powerful daughters.

http://www.pbs.org/parents/parenting/raising-girls/body-image-identity/raising-a-powerful-girl/

Yes!
03/08/2016
Lean In

Yes!

“We’re raising our girls to be perfect and we’re raising our boys to be brave," says Reshma Saujani, founder of Girls Who Code. We teach girls to be “perfect, and pretty, and nice,” while boys are expected to be “tough, and brave and strong. I immediately see how girls are afraid to try things that they won’t be good in."

She urges: “I need each of you to tell every young woman you know to be comfortable with imperfection.” #LeanIn

Love this. Third eye kiss - between the brow on the forehead while sending a message of love and compassion. "The kiss s...
03/01/2016
Activate your Third Eye with a Kiss.

Love this. Third eye kiss - between the brow on the forehead while sending a message of love and compassion.

"The kiss stimulates the pituitary gland in the brain which is the master gland of the endocrine (hormonal) system. The pituitary controls the growth and function of all the other endocrine glands. The kiss also stimulates the pineal gland which produces melatonin, the hormone we need to get a good night’s sleep. Both glands are absolutely vital for health as well as understanding things with an inner wisdom."

The 6th Chakra relates to Vision, Clairvoyance, Spiritual Awareness...

Stephen Fry is awesome already, this just makes him awesomer. One for everyone, esp. the homeschoolers...
02/23/2016
Stephen Fry's new startup is a Pinterest for education

Stephen Fry is awesome already, this just makes him awesomer. One for everyone, esp. the homeschoolers...

Stephen Fry has quietly co-founded a startup that bills itself as a "Pinterest for education". The company called Pindex launched this month, and is a self-funded online platform that creates and curates educational videos and infographics for teachers and students. Their first video is a Stephen Fr…

02/23/2016

I was reading with my 7yrs old this evening and he said (for the first time ever), "I'm dumb."

I was taken back and in the moment, a little unsure of how to react. So I took a moment and said, 'Hmm..interesting. Tell me more about that." He said, "I'm just so dumb." And started laughing....almost a childlike nervous laughter. So I asked, "Why do you think that." He said, "because that's what I am." I replied, "Really? How did you decide that?" He said, "Because I can't read."

So my son is about to turn 7yrs and yes, reading has been a challenge. He has vision issues and possibly (though not entirely sure yet) language processing issues. He was also born at 27wks so I'll take all of the above and more if attributable (which it may not be) to prematurity. The challenge in the moment for me though was how to reframe the mistaken belief he had of himself.

So I said, "But we have almost finished reading Dahl's Esio Trot - which you read for your first ever book study...so why do you think you can't read?" He rather non-chalantly shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't convinced. So I shared a personal experience, "So honey, as you know I train most days and most days, I don't think I'll be able to run or swim the distance I'm supposed to. Most days though I just (only just) manage to do it. Some days I don't manage it at all. On those harder days, I find it easier for me to say to myself, I FELT weak or challenged today rather than I AM weak or challenged. Do you see the difference? Feelings pass through us, they only last a while and they certainly do not make us who we are. We FEEL a feeling for a while but that feeling doesn't define or make us who we are Some days are good, some not so much. So yes, some days....reading may be challenging but that doesn't make you dumb, that just means you felt reading was harder on that day."

02/20/2016

I'm in Miami for a couple of days of respite. Yesterday, during my long run down South Beach, I was tiring towards the end and stopped for moment to take a breath and take in the view. I looked into the back of one of those fancy South Beach hotels and by the pool there was an open green space. I saw a dad throwing a ball around with his two boys. One must have been 6 or 7 and the other around 10 maybe. I watched them for a while as the dad played football with them. The boys were so joyful ....their eyes alit, mesmerized with their dad and the simple act of play.
This is all our kids ask of us. Connection...with the occasional moment of joy. We are their worlds and they ours. Moments like those are fleeting. I wondered how that dad would feel when one day he waved good-bye to this boys as they drove off to college, a new city, a new job. It would happen so soon. So enjoy your littles. Relish them. Feel them and then embed these moments deep in your memory. For one day you'll want to open them up....feel them, smell them, taste them.

Children learn by modeling. Modeling, modeling, modeling....Check out the book: 'The World Until Yesterday' by Jared Dia...
02/20/2016
Baby Eteni

Children learn by modeling. Modeling, modeling, modeling....

Check out the book: 'The World Until Yesterday' by Jared Diamond.
And here's a wonderful podcast by the author.
https://www.theguardian.com/science/audio/2013/feb/11/science-weekly-podcast-jared-diamond-traditional-societies

Here are snapshots from the life of the cutest baby I’ve ever seen in my life. You will be surprised to see all the things Eteni does (and is allowed to do!) as a toddler. There isn’t much teaching...

Calm brains are alert brains. Fear or angry brains, can't take-in or process any information since they're in survival (...
02/17/2016
Teaching self-regulation in schools

Calm brains are alert brains. Fear or angry brains, can't take-in or process any information since they're in survival (fight, flight, freeze) mode.

Modeling is really the best way we can teach kids how to self regulate. In the heat of the moment, before the crazies set it, try it - "Mommy/Daddy needs a moment to calm down." Then walk away so you can recenter yourself.

A group of kindergarten kids tussle over the same toy, a high school student stresses out over exams, a parent honks her horn furiously at a driver slipping into a parking space in front of a . . .

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