05/25/2026
The night I lost Toby: I have been very spiritually sensitive most of my life. In February 1975, my Mother & I were living in MD in a tiny mobile home with my oldest son Michael, he being a toddler & Toby at 4 Mths. My husband was away on the Cruise ships as he was an engineer. That night at midnight Mother & I were awake watching a preacher on tv. Mother was sitting in the rocker. Toby was lying on the sofa next to me as he had fallen asleep after feeding. I was sitting on the sofa. A window was near the wall behind me, however it was Winter at midnight, the window was closed. We had an enclosed porch on the outside of that window, it was locked. As I sat there I felt a human hand go from the top of the back of my neck to my spine! I felt it! I immediately looked at my Mother and said, “Mother, something is about to happen that is going to be TERRIBLE! I said, “Could it be my husband, Mother?” Am I going to lose my husband? Mother said, “No”. She assured me that all would be well. A few nights later, Toby had awaken at 3:00 to feed. I got up, heated his bottle on the stove and started to feed him. As I did, that room filled with a presence that to this day is difficult to describe. It was extremely dark. It frightened me so, I ran into my bedroom and fed Toby in my bed. It was the “Angel of death” spoken of in Holy scripture. Had I only known then what I know now, I would FOUGHT that Angel for my baby! I did not know I could do that, just like Jakob in the Bible did! After he had fallen asleep, I put him 2 feet from my bed in his crib. Michael awoke me around 8 am. Toby normally would have awoken again at 6 am. My 1st thought was, “why did the baby sleep so long!” He was still feeding every few hours. As I looked into his crib, I touched him, I believe I did. I knew…I knew the Holy Angels of my God had come for my child, they called it SIDS. I knew. I can’t remember much for months after that. I was just numb…My husband flew home, we buried our son. Family wanted me in a new environment so we moved to Florida almost immediately. The night before we moved, he rented a hotel room. It was directly across from the cemetery where our baby lie. No sleep that night. Toby Andreas Westergaard.