05/13/2024
Reason 2 I hadn’t been posting…..4 years ago I was hustling…I was moving at an upward pace like society conditions us to. I was juicing productivity from every min and squeezing in as much as possible. May 8/2020 I jumped on the lawn mower attempting to cut some of my husband’s evening burdens. 3 quarters of the way through I heard a little voice say, “Park it you’ve done enough”… 5 mins later a little voice said, “sure is a cold day for a swim.” Weird I thought I’m not a May swimmer. A min later I lost control of our lawn mower by the rocky lake side. Stubborn to save the mower (you know, to not disappoint anyone or waste money) in freakishly slow motion I went in side ways with the Dixie chopper while screaming “I’m not ready yet! My babies! My babies are inside don’t let them find me like this.”
My next point of awareness was realizing I was still alive but completely submerged with my leg pinned ….the mower was still humming (the auto shut off had been disengaged the week prior. The roll bar was also down to avoid low hanging tree branches). Holding my breath I started forcefully jimmying my leg back and forth into the mud bottom lake digging a trench. I freed more and more of my long ass leg as I worked the trench deeper & deeper. At that time the mower seized up, the blade stopped spinning & I was finally free to get air. I crawled out of the lake gasping & crying like a baby taking its 1st breath. Pure gratitude flooded my sobbing being. Realizing from that day forward I’ll forever slow down and listen to that strong inner voice. Fully clothed, drenched & sobbing I met my kids at the door.
The tears continued for two weeks but the love I felt from my family was indescribable  & after much introspection I realized if the emotions are this intense than something is being asked of me. I could sit crying about the traumatic memories & tell the world the dangers of zero turn mowers or I could use it to catapult me in a new direction a more refined aligned direction for my family & I.
💫Emotions are evolutionary medicine. Emotions are a call to action. Feel them deeply, then use them to move you. Don’t get stagnant by ruminating. 
So in the last 4 years I’ve shifted A LOT! I needed to take time to find the words to articulate my new understanding and one thing for certain is this;
When I post I’m not posting to sell sell sell…I don’t want to be a hamster on a wheel or a work horse chasing the next carrot.
I’m posting to connect. If you feel connected to something I’ve said or did or I sparked a feeling inside you or you are drawn towards something I’ve created with my hands & heart than that is a soul filling existence for me.
In our final hours of life it’s our heart felt connections we curate that makes life complete. These connections are the key to peace & fulfillment. No one ever says I wish I would have worked more on their death bed.
My pace now is deeper, slower & consciously authentic. The pace society pushes is fear based, competitive, money driven & exhausting. Of course it would be! It’s a way to pay in more taxes & break your body down faster so you’ll need expensive medical attention. It’s a cycle.
I wanna be me, and I want to encourage you to be you. We all have gifts and we are all a piece of this intrinsically connected energetic puzzle called eARTh. I’m thankful I get to be a part of this humanly experience a bit longer……
oooooo and that zero turn Dixie chopper lawn mower it still runs! 💫 🤷🏼♀️
If you had a close call or a near death experience reach out. I’ve actually had 6, some of us are extra stubborn. 😉👊🏻💪🏻
