05/07/2026
👟 After my haircut for my networking event, I looked in the mirror and noticed my nose hair unfurled and was as long as shoelaces, so I went to CVS to buy nose hair trimmers in case nobody wants to network with Sasquash.
🧶 After my Norelco nose hair trim in the parking lot, I looked in the mirror and noticed I could make friendship bracelets with my ear hair, so I went back into CVS to buy florescent pink Tweezerman tweezers to have a pluck-a-thon.
🧔🏻♂️ After cleaning my ears, I noticed how unkempt and wiry my mustache was, so I went back into CVS to buy a cheap Conair comb which did not do the trick and only made me think of the movie Con Air, so I went back in to buy sculpting clay which half worked.
🌬️ After looking closer to presentable, I smelled something awful in my car and it was my breath. I went back in to CVS to buy white Tic Tacs because I love that they taste like marshmallow for 0.02 seconds and because who is going to network with me if I smell like a Garbage Pail Kid?
🚘 After driving from Ray’s Barbershop / CVS in Burlington to Beacon Hill in Boston, I realized it was a business casual attire event and my avocado green shorts and JDilla T-shirt may not cut it — so I drove to Uniqlo on Newbury St to metamorphose.
🩰 After trying on my new outfit, I asked if I could keep it on and walk from the dressing room to the register to my car and they said yes — so the man at the register scanned me three items while I rotated my body as if I were a jewelry box ballerina with barcodes.
🤝 After I arrived at the lovely event, doubt entered my mind as to whether or not I was turning into an introvert as I age. I don’t know that I can or want to ‘work a room’ so I had quality conversations with 6 pals which was well worth it. I’m glad I went.
🍮 On my way home I stopped at for a Brambleberry Spritz mocktail, a crudo sampler plate, and a tiramisu and I slept happily ever after.
Networking events can turn into a notworking events, but it’s important to be your own number one fan, break routine & break bread. Thanks
