08/07/2026
Shared from Fred Jones.
For anyone who is being told this lie. Please read
🗣️ I keep seeing this teaching going around that says ABUSE is NEVER grounds for divorce.
THIS IS WRONG‼️
And this is exactly why the Bible says in 📖 2 Timothy 2:15 Study to show yourself approved unto God, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Because being loud about Scripture does not mean you understand Scripture. And being religious does not automatically make your advice righteous.
Let me say this clearly. I do not celebrate divorce.
I believe marriage 💍 is sacred. I believe covenant matters. I believe people quit too quickly sometimes.
I believe forgiveness, counseling, maturity, patience, repentance, and restoration should absolutely be pursued when restoration is actually possible.
But I also believe some of the most dangerous theology in the church is telling an abused person:
👉🏾 “You can never divorce them.”
👉🏾 “Unless they commit adultery, you have no biblical grounds.”
👉🏾 “Just stay there and pray.”
That sounds spiritual until somebody ends up DEAD. ‼️ 😮
And God did not call anybody to die in stupidity because somebody misinterpreted Scripture.
Now let’s deal with the Bible. People love quoting Jesus concerning sexual immorality in Matthew 19. And yes, Jesus absolutely confronted frivolous divorce. Men were dismissing women casually and treating covenant like something disposable. Jesus corrected that. But somehow people turned His correction of casual divorce into a command that says:
“No matter how destructive, violent, cruel, or dangerous your spouse becomes, you can never leave.” That is a conclusion people brought TO the text. It is not something Jesus actually said.
Then Paul comes along in: 📖 1 Corinthians 7:15 and says if the unbelieving spouse departs, the believing spouse is not bound. So immediately, the conversation is already bigger than “Adultery is the only circumstance Scripture ever addresses.” And before somebody says, “Well, technically the abusive spouse didn’t leave…”
👂 Listen carefully. You can abandon a marriage without abandoning an address. 😳
Let me say that again. You can leave covenant while still living in the house. A person can be physically present and completely absent from everything marriage is supposed to represent.
You can share:
🏠 a house
🛏️ a bed
📛 a last name
and still live in❌ terror ❌ violence ❌ manipulation ❌ cruelty ❌ neglect ❌ betrayal
Presence does not automatically equal covenant faithfulness. And this is where the conversation requires WISDOM. Because Scripture also gives us principles concerning covenant obligations.
📖 Exodus 21:10 through 11 deals with the denial of provision, marital rights, and care. That passage is not a direct New Testament divorce formula for every marriage situation, so let’s interpret responsibly. But it absolutely destroys this idea that Scripture only cares whether someone committed adultery.God has always cared about how people are treated inside covenant.
And then people quote: “God hates divorce.”
But read Malachi carefully. God is condemning treachery against covenant. The focus is not merely paperwork. The focus is betrayal.
This is why I said before Sometimes divorce is not what first destroyed the covenant. Sometimes divorce is the legal acknowledgment that covenant destruction has already occurred.😮💨
NOW HOLD ON 🛑
📌 That does NOT mean “My husband irritated me, so covenant is broken.”
📌 No. It does NOT mean “My wife hurt my feelings, so covenant is broken.”
📌 No. It does NOT mean “We are going through a hard season, therefore divorce.”
Absolutely not. Marriage gets hard. People need grace. People need counseling. People need accountability. People need room to mature. People need opportunities to repent. But there is a difference between: A marriage going through difficulty and A person living under destruction. And ABUSE matters. If someone is beating you… threatening your life sexually violating you… terrorizing you… strangling you… threatening your children… or creating an environment where you genuinely fear you may not survive… and somebody tells you “Stay because God hates divorce…” That person needs to stop counseling people until they learn how to rightly divide Scripture. Because one of the most ignorant things you can tell somebody in an actively dangerous situation is:
“Go home and pray harder.” Yes, PRAY. But sometimes prayer sounds like “God, give me the wisdom and courage to GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE.” Prayer does not mean remaining available to violence. Forgiveness does not require continued access. Reconciliation requires repentance. And restoration without change is just recycling trauma. 🔥🔥🔥
And another thing. People use Hosea like Hosea is God’s universal marriage counseling handbook. “Hosea stayed.” Hosea had a specific prophetic assignment from God that symbolically represented God’s covenant relationship with Israel.
You cannot take a unique prophetic assignment and turn it into a universal command requiring every abused spouse to endure endless betrayal. That is not sound interpretation. That is how people get hurt while everybody around them feels spiritual.
Listen.God values marriage. But God also values LIFE.
God values justice. God values truth. God values human dignity. And marriage was never created to become a hiding place for wickedness. A wedding ring does not give somebody permission to destroy another human being. 💍 And Christians have to become mature enough to say two things at once: Divorce should never be treated casually.
AND
Marriage should never be weaponized to imprison somebody in destruction. Both can be true. So when somebody confidently announces:
“Abuse is never grounds for divorce…”
I need you to understand how serious that statement is.Because somebody may read your theology tonight… go back into a dangerous home… because you convinced them leaving would disappoint God. And tomorrow their family could be planning a funeral. Words have consequences. Counsel has consequences. Bad theology has consequences. This is why pastors, teachers, and believers have a responsibility to STUDY. Not just repeat. Not just quote. Not just sound spiritual. STUDY.
Because there is a tremendous difference between protecting the covenant… and protecting the person who is DESTROYING the covenant.
I am not pro divorce. I am pro TRUTH. I am pro COVENANT. I am pro REPENTANCE. I am pro RESTORATION where restoration is safe and genuine. And I am absolutely against using Scripture to convince somebody that God requires them to remain available to violence.
Marriage is sacred. Which is exactly why abuse inside marriage should NEVER be treated casually. And sometimes the most biblical thing you can tell somebody is not: “Stay no matter what.” Sometimes it is. “Get safe first. Then with Scripture, wise counsel, accountability, and truth, determine what covenant actually remains.” Because God did not give us Scripture so we could help people die religious. He gave us Scripture so we could rightly divide the word of truth. 🔥
