10/09/2026
The Declaration of Jawn Jitsu
“Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of the Tap”
When in the Course of rolling events, it becomes necessary for one grappler to dissolve the grips which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the mats the dominant position to which the Laws of Technique and Professor entitle them, a proper respect for the opinions of the academy requires that they should declare the causes which compel them to pass that jawn. From Broad Street to the Schuylkill, from South Philly to the far side of the Ben Franklin, we refuse to stall like traffic on the Vine Street Expressway. We shall scramble with the speed of a cheesesteak order at Pat’s, apply pressure heavier than a Sunday crowd at the Linc, and protect our necks more fiercely than a parking spot saved with a lawn chair. We may drink wooder, run up the Rocky Steps, and hear the Liberty Bell ring but on these mats, the only bell that matters is the one that ends the round.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all jawns are created equal; that they are endowed by their Coach with certain unalienable Rights; that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of the Tap. That to secure these rights, academies are established among grapplers, deriving their authority from the consent of the rolling partners. That whenever any position becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to shrimp, frame, and reverse it and to establish a new position upon such principles as brotherly love, relentless pressure, and never surrendering the underhook. For in this city, from Broad Street to the Schuylkill, we fear no guard, respect every belt, protect our necks like the Liberty Bell, and proudly proclaim: No Jawn shall pass without a fight.
