Faria Shehnaz

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02/03/2017

Sometimes I do not feel like taking a breath. When I close my eyes I just feel the need to jump deep down into our village river. I desperately want to walk in the muddy fields of my old place. At midnight when I wake up from nightmares, I accidentally start to call for my mother. After screaming for a while, I get back my senses and find myself in this place where my boss kindheartedly let me stay. I do not know if my friend Helal still misses me or not. The day I was leaving my village our math teacher was very sick, I went to visit him but he did not recognize me. Just like my mother, who was not recognizing me a few days before she died. Nowadays I see them both in my dreams. I miss so many things and people. Even at this moment, I feel like running, running away from this crazy city; from this heartless place towards my village where the sun rises everyday differently; where the river takes away all pain and where my friends are waiting for me. But I cannot go. My uncle forced me to leave his house. He asked me to go to whoever I knew. But I knew no one. My uncle was taking care of me and my mother from the day I knew the world around me. I felt very bad for him when he was beating me. He was a kind person; maybe he cried a lot after I left. I bought a shirt for him with my money. Some day when I will return, I will give him his gift. I am grateful to my poor uncle, whatever he did for me and my mother was enough for us. I expect nothing more from him. When I left my place I went to my mother’s grave. During the last flood all signs of my mother’s grave were taken away. There was a flower tree near the grave, which was the only sign, but people had cut down the tree. There was no sign anymore, that’s why I closed my eyes and took some soil from there by guessing which was hers. Whenever I feel afraid at night I put the packet of soil onto my chest. I feel my mother putting her hand on me. I feel safe and go back to sleep.

- Arif

02/03/2017

We have very little things. I have three dresses to wear regularly and one saree to wear in any event. My husband has two shirts and two pants, one Panjabi to wear at Friday. In my tiny kitchen there are only two plastic plates and a few cooking pots. This is all we have as property. We sleep in the floor by putting plastic mat. My husband is a bus contractor, he usually returns to home very tired at late night. I want to talk to him after his return, want to share what had happened all day, he hardly listens to me and never replies. I talk alone and listen to myself alone. In his off day we could have some private time as the slum people start to fight and my husband has to interfere to stop that. I never get him alone to express myself or tell that I am pregnant. Since I am pregnant I become over emotional. I cry for no reasons and feel very alone. I wanted to tell my husband that we are expecting our first child but after seeing his very tiring face I stop myself to disclose it as I know a child would be very expensive for us. I do not want him to give tension. After returning from factory I struggle to work alone, I vomited and felt terribly sick. The most difficult part of the day was waking up at mid night to reserve water by queuing with hundred people. Three months ago I fell while I was bringing the water bucket. My neighbor sister-in-law is a very kind woman; she helped me to come back to my room and cooked for me that day. I cried whole day in a thought that my baby may get hurt. After his return, I stopped talking to him and decided not to talk ever again. He even did not notice that. I went to deep sleep that night and was not able to bring water. When I wake up I see three of my buckets were full. I felt thankful to my neighbor who was always there for me in any need. Three months I slept well without worrying about collecting water. I had decided to fill my neighbor's bucket with water once my child will be born. I wanted to return her favor. A few days ago, after returning from work, when I opened our door I saw our first bed. The bed has a big rose flower and heart design in the front. I was weeping like a child. First time in my life I could sleep in a bed. My husband was nowhere and I was so surprised how he knew I had body pain for last few days. I did not talk to him for months and he had no idea we are expecting. I spent my evening by crying at the corner of our new bed. At evening women of my place came to visit me, they complained as I hardly spoke to them for many months. Then they started to tell me how lucky I am to have an amazing husband. Each of them were telling how my husband carried three bucket of water together to save time, how every day he was first in the queue after returning from Fajr prayer. I felt like I was listening to a fairy tale. I could reply to anyone as tears were flowing all over me. At night when he returned and went to bed without exchanging words, I asked him, why he is still living with a mad woman. He did not answer that. He just requested me to shift in the floor as he feels weird to sleep in bed. I laughed so hard, after so many months, and shifted in our plastic mat. Not everyone can sleep in bed and not everyone is as lucky as me.

- Shahinoor Akhter Popy

02/03/2017

‘In my village I played with my pet dogs. They were very fond of me. Maybe they are still searching for me everywhere. One day my step-mother beat me up badly and whispered to me that if I do not leave the house she would poison my food. My dogs and I were very afraid of her. Unfortunately, my father never believed me. Once I heard my stepmother telling someone that she was regretting my living there and that she wished my mother had taken me to the place she is now. I don’t know how to go there; everyone said she went to Allah. I really want to go there too. I ran away from my family. I like to sleep in this park close to these dogs. Even these puppies have their mother with them, only I don’t have mine.’ – Noyon (7)

02/03/2017

তোমার গায়ের রঙই তোমার পরিচয়? তোমার আত্মবিশ্বাসের উৎস? তোমার সাফল্যের মাপকাঠি?

Projonmo Talkies এর সাথেই থাকুন। শীঘ্রই পরিবর্তন আসছে। ইউটিউব চ্যানেল: goo.gl/991GZG

10/02/2017

আমাদের লাল-সবুজের মর্যাদা কি শুধুই কথায় আর কাগজে-কলমে? কাজে নয়? এই আমাদের দেশপ্রেমের নমুনা?

Projonmo Talkies এর সাথেই থাকুন। শীঘ্রই পরিবর্তন আসছে। ইউটিউব চ্যানেল: goo.gl/991GZG

04/02/2017

শুধু মেয়ে হিসেবেই ভালো করেছে? মানুষ হিসেবে নয়? সমতা কি এখনো শুধুই কাগজে-কলমে?

কেন তাদের অর্জনকে খাটো করে দেখা হয় নারীত্বের তকমা ঝুলিয়ে?

Projonmo Talkies এর সাথেই থাকুন। শীঘ্রই পরিবর্তন আসছে। ইউটিউব চ্যানেল: goo.gl/991GZG

04/02/2017

"ঠিকই তো! গায়ে হাত না তুললে আবার কিসের পুরুষ মানুষ? হাত থাকতে মুখে কেন?"

নিজের পুরুষত্ব জাহির করতে গিয়ে মনুষ্যত্ব না ভুলে যাই।

Projonmo Talkies এর সাথেই থাকুন। শীঘ্রই পরিবর্তন আসছে। ইউটিউব চ্যানেল: goo.gl/991GZG

04/02/2017

আমরা আজও দাবি করে যাই যে আমাদের সমাজ বদলেছে। আমরা সরে এসেছি সকল বর্বরতা থেকে, সভ্য হতে শিখেছি। তবে কেন এখনও একটি মেয়ের জীবন এভাবে ছুঁড়ে ফেলে দিতে একটুও বুক কাঁপে না?

Projonmo Talkies এর সাথেই থাকুন। শীঘ্রই পরিবর্তন আসছে। ইউটিউব চ্যানেল: goo.gl/991GZG

04/02/2017

“একশর উপর লাইক! মানুষ অনেক শেয়ারও দিচ্ছে! ভালোই তো!”

Projonmo Talkies এর সাথেই থাকুন। শীঘ্রই পরিবর্তন আসছে।
ইউটিউব চ্যানেল: goo.gl/991GZG

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Dhaka
1206

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+8801845532670

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