Since the dawn of time, Mankind has constantly sought new ways in which to be awesome. Since you found your way to this site you are in all likelihood slightly awesome already. You therefore probably already know, as Bavarians have for the last 300 years, that a particularly awesome way of being awesome is enjoying a huge glass of glorious beer, the 1 Liter Beer glass (Maβkrug). Two years ago the
founders of The OktoberFist were attending the Oktoberfest in Munich. It’s kind of a big deal. After a couple of days of enjoying German hospitality and being pretty awesome about it. they realized that they had a serious drinking problem. Not the inability to connect the beer with the mouth or the rampant alcoholism that is commonly comes to mind when one mentions drinking problems but a more hands on problem. As it turns out rocking one of those Maβkrug badboys (2.3 kg when full) is not without consequences. Carpal tunnel syndrome (aka Oktoberwrist) as well as abrasions from the handle to the index finger and thenar space (aka Fi******ng) has been known to strike indiscriminately on hamfisted and ballerina handed beer connoisseurs alike. Believe us. We use fancy science words and have Ph.D.’s. Hence. being problem solvers by nature and Ph.D.’s in nanotechnology by training they simulated, tested, prototyped, tested again, focus grouped, field tested, field tested some more, realized field testing was awesome so field tested even further for months ending up with the most innovative drinking aide since the invention of the straw. You are welcome humanity. NOW! thanks to space-age technology and state of the art nano-engineering principles YOU can get your drink on with the best of them at any beer festival (or your own living room or child’s kindergarten classroom for that matter) without turning into a debilitated cripple after a night of lifting your Maβ to the heavens. Furthermore, The OktoberFist solves the fundamental problem faced by the beer and party aficionados around the globe. How do I look even more awesome while pounding my beers? “I could buy myself a silly hat or maybe a gimicky T-shirt that says ‘I ♥ Beer‘ or which has a picture of lederhosen on them and I’ll be the life of the party.” you would think. But you will realize that you are wrong, very wrong, once the guy next to you rocks up with The OktoberFist. The OktoberFist embodies the very spirit of Party and grants the wearers an aura of kick ass awesomeness that is the envy of all around them. The OktoberFist is an obvious conversation piece enabling the wearer to avoid those awkward silences that will enviably occur should you decide to wear the silly hat instead. People of the same s*x want to be you. People of the opposite s*x want to be with you. Because you are awesome. The OktoberFist provides you with this cool factor while at the same time providing you with an awesome wrist mounted pocket that allows for quick access to cash, coins, or cards (Many have managed to lose the crucial goodwill of the Bier Frau with incessant fumbling in pockets and wallets resulting in evil eyes, sighs of disbelief, an occasional “Come ze f**k on with ze money already, schnell schnell!” and worse service next round). An added bonus is that the wrist mounted pocket will keep your essentials safe even if you later decide to party without pants. Partying without pants is statistically more likely to happen to a person rocking The OktoberFist than the guy with the silly hat [citation needed]. How The Oktoberfist will make you more awesome:
- The genuine leather OktoberFist incorporates the mystique of traditional Bavarian style into a functional festival garment.
- The button-up wallet located on the wrist allows for quick access to cash etc. and pantsless partying.
- A supportive wrist strap incorporates space age technology and cutting edge alloys to lend support to ensure easy lifting maβ after maβ after maβ of beer.
- Durable yet soft genuine leather exterior will stand up through years of Oktoberfest punishment.
- A soft nylon liner provides luxurious comfort (It’s really luxurious!) while preventing a buildup of sweat.
- The OktoberFist is the perfect alternative or compliment to lederhosen, the traditional and iconic Bavarian folk attire. For the man or woman who has everything or nothing.
- It's “Lederhosen for your hand!" and will make you Awesome. www.TheOktoberFist.com
