24/08/2026
Claire has been attacked by flying pigs!!
The last few weeks have been absolutely mental. Claire, our shop manager, has been attacked by flying pigs.
I’m not even joking.
Poor Claire was driving along the A14 to pick up her daughter when, about ten cars ahead of her, was a cattle lorry. She heard an almighty bang and all of a sudden a load of pigs came flying out of the trailer.
Traumatised Claire and her even more traumatised daughter managed to get back home safely, but I’m not entirely sure what their current relationship status with bacon is.
I know you have questions...
The event is Googleable, but I’m telling you already that the pigs, at the moment they took flight, weren’t exactly alive. No, I’m not sure who transports them like that either...
I won’t beat Claire on the drama factor of unexpected events, but I’ve had quite a collection myself.
My poorly mother landed in hospital again and, as a result, transformed herself from an eccentric old lady with an explosive character into an ancient battle witch who throws rage at everything with the regularity of a feral cat locked in a shoebox.
So tending to her gives people (myself included) an instant PTSD and an eye twitch.
When I came back from this relaxing journey, I was faced with a beautiful little river that had manifested itself at the back of our house.
Beautiful view...
Peace and quiet.
Skylarks overhead.
Elves plucking at their harps.
Jesus wandering through the garden.
A golden fish lazily circling in the pond...
The plumbers (and the neighbours) didn’t share my enthusiasm.
Apparently it was a serious leak.
Apparently our wallets became very lightweight as a result...
Soooo...
If you’ve recently had a slightly difficult time... guess what?
You are not alone.
I know that other people’s misery isn’t necessarily an uplifting circumstance (unless you’re a psychopath), BUT it’s good to know that Satan himself hasn’t developed a particular interest in your little self.
So what can you do to survive days like these without becoming a depressed fainting goat?
Well, I’m glad you asked!
First of all, burning your mobile phone may be useful.
Or at least deleting social media.
That may allow you to go from ongoing panic attacks to mild existential dread in just one week!
Also, growing courgettes helps.
Touching soil is genuinely good for you (exposes your skin to harmless natural microbes that can boost your mood, strengthen your immune system, and diversify your gut bacteria), and courgettes are ridiculously easy to grow. And ridiculously prolific. You pickle them and BOOM: Christmas gifts for all the family and friends!! (hehe)
There is one more thing worth considering.
We have an absolutely phenomenal new fragrance.
And I am spraying this on myself like there’s no tomorrow.
It’s called Indian Summer, and it smells like golden fields, warm skin, and making peace with the fact that you were only popping out for five minutes and somehow ended up watching the sunset.
Sweet orange, neroli and ylang ylang mingle with the warmth of black pepper to create something soft, rich and almost edible.
It is golden light on bare skin.
Flowers growing slightly wild.
Ripe fruit within arm’s reach.
Warm earth under your feet.
A perfume for those days when the whole world seems beautifully, extravagantly ripe. And all you really need to do is stand there and breathe it in.
Wear with oversized jumpers, bare ankles, or absolutely no sensible plans whatsoever.
And because we are now fighting Satan with courgettes, perfume and Royal Mail,
GOAWAYSATAN!
will give you FREE SHIPPING until midnight on Monday (24.08.26).
So you can buy yourself Indian Summer.
Or restock Glow.
Or anything you want, really.
And have your favourite postie, hoppery-hoping through the meadow in his shorts, bringing it directly to your lovely, deserving hands.
Speak soon, my darlings.
And hang in there.
Eva
Founder, Cow on the Ice
