15/03/2026
I started writing this as a positive post, as today is Long Covid Awareness Day & 6 years ago, around about now, I got infected. I wanted to talk about the good that has come from LC; but then I had a sudden migraine, I could not see out of my right eye, & now I have pain down the right side of my body & my left hand is spasming & I thought F**K. THAT. S**T. I am angry.
🖕🏼I may look better, I am not. I've learnt to read the warning signs & live within boundaries. I still have a crutch, I am in pain in some way daily, I am acting to look like I am ok as I am fed up explaining myself. I have one week a month where I can function well, IF I am lucky. Most of the time I am tired, no not 'wow that was a busy week' tired. Bones aching, unable to speak, eating is too exhausting.
🖕🏼Yes I now work, but only P/T & that exhausts me so much that I have to rest the other days. I am literally one bad relapse away from my entire life crumbling & being unable to support myself financially.
🖕🏼If I hear one more person say 'oh at least you are not sponging from the government', I will lamp them as the PIP I can access gets used to help pay bills, & I am unable to access other support. I can't afford any kind of treatments that might help me feel better. And PIP goes away next year, so I will be literally FUBAR'd if I can't get re-approved.
🖕🏼I have very very little support from doctors/specialists/LC clinics - everything I have done is paid for BY ME, & LC clinics are closing all over the country. There is no magic medicine.
🖕🏼Life is very small; days off are not spent doing fun things, they are spent resting (no NOT fun before you say so), doing some chores so that I do not get sick from a dirty house, trying (usually failing) to do life admin. All those things you hate doing take THE REST OF MY ENERGY. My time is never, ever my own; it is borrowed.
So no, not a positve post. But also not a pity post. It is s**t I know, yeah I wish things were different. But they ain't so I crack the f**k on cos what else am I meant to do? Am I going to die? Not immediately, but the old me died 6 years ago & every now & again, that little fact hits me.
