Chaplins Formal Suit & Kilt Hire

15/11/2025

That's Christmas sorted then Gents! 😉

Haggis Tweed have officially unveiled their newest piece of Highlands haute couture, the “Highland Heels.”

Crafted from ethically gathered haggis fur (no haggis harmed, just gently annoyed), these all terrain high heels are built for the modern Highlander who refuses to choose between glamour and a good stomp through the glens.

Engineered with shock absorbing hooves and weatherproof tartan lining, they’re perfect for everything from red carpets to Highland hikes. But the real innovation lies in the soles. Each one is moulded to leave authentic haggis footprints on every Glen or Munro you conquer, baffling wildlife trackers and tourists alike.

Early testers have described them as “surprisingly stable on gravel… significantly less so after a few drams,” which Haggis Tweed insists is “a user issue, not a design flaw.”

“Walk tall. Leave tracks. Conquer mountains”
Perfect for those who think they can hike in Scotland utterly unprepared for reality.

04/05/2025

🛸 May the 4th be with you 👽

01/05/2025

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 A Chaplins Gentleman Is Always Prepared

Formal kilt hire in the heart of Swindon.

Come & enjoy our Gentleman's Club styled store. Bring the boys & make an event of it.

Book online at www.chaplinsmenswear.co.uk

30/04/2025

28/04/2025

🤵 Bring on the Prom Boys! 🕴

From James Bond styled DJ's, to sleek slim fit tuxedos, navy, cream, white & grey suits & every colour of waistcoat & tie in between.

Visit our Gentleman's Club styled outfitters in the heart of Swindon & finish your Year 11 in style.

Book an appointment online at www.chaplinsmenswear.co.uk

28/01/2024

🐾 MAN'S BEST MAN! 🐾

🐕 Love a dog at a wedding! 🐕
☑️ Yes we can! ☑️

Don't leave your best friend at home.
Add your pooch to your Groomsmen party & feel free to bring him along to fittings for lots of fuss, treats & dress up!

🐾 DOGS WELCOME ANYTIME 🐾
➡️ (humans by appointment only!) ⬅️

📱 Book a dog-friendly appointment online at www.chaplinsmenswear.co.uk/ 💻

27/01/2024

🎩Professional Suit & Kilt Hire 🎩
"Bringing old-school personal service back to Swindon"

At Chaplins we pride ourselves on our service.

Our suit & kilt hire service is traditional, professional & personalised to both you and your party.

The Chaplins store in Swindon town centre is traditionally styled with leather armchairs and even a bar to make your visit an event, not a chore.

"A Chaplins Gentleman Is Always Prepared"

In-store bookings are invited through our website* at https://chaplinsmenswear.co.uk/

*we're not complete Luddites!

25/01/2024

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 ADDRESS TO A HAGGIS 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
25.01.2024
(English translation)

Good luck to you and your honest, plump face,

Great chieftain of the pudding race!

Above them all you take your place,

gut, stomach-lining, or intestine,

You're well worth a grace

as long as my arm.

The overloaded serving tray there you fill,

Your buttocks shaped like a distant hilltop,

Your wooden skewer could be used to fix a mill

if need be,

While through your pores your juices drip

like liquid gold.

His knife see the serving-man clean,

And then cut you up with great skill,

Making a trench in your bright, gushing guts

To form a ditch,

And then, 0h! What a glorious sight!

Warm, steaming, and rich!

Then, spoonful after spoonful, they eagerly eat,

The devil will get the last bit, on they go,

Until all their well-stretched stomachs, by-and-by,

are bent like drums,

Then the head of the family, about to burst,

murmurs “Thank the Lord".

Is there a pretentious soul who, over his French ragout,

Or Italian cuisine that would make a pig sick,

Or French stew that would make that same pig ill

with complete and utter disgust,

Looks down with a sneering, scornful attitude,

on such a meal? (as Haggis)

Poor devil! See him over his trash!

As feeble as a withered bullrush,

His skinny leg no thicker than a thin rope,

His fist the size of a nut,

Through a river or field to travel,

Completely unfit!

But look at the healthy, Haggis-fed person!

The trembling earth respects him as a man!

Put a knife in his fist,

He'll make it work!

And legs, and arms, and heads will come off,

Like the tops of thistle.

You Powers who look after mankind,

And dish out his bill of fare,

Old Scotland wants no watery, wimpy stuff

That splashes about in little wooden bowls!

But, if You will grant her a grateful prayer,

Give her a Haggis!

29/10/2023

Superior Suit & Kilt Hire For Your Special Occasion

Old-school Gentlemens Club Store on Commercial Road, Swindon

www.chaplinsmenwear.co.uk