South Woodham Association of Nobodies and Know-It-Alls

21/04/2026

What? There's an election coming? Oh...errr...we'd better wake up and switch into "look like we care" mode. Vote for SWANK!

19/11/2024

23/05/2024

Our leader will be over Compass Gardens later to launch his election campaign to become Prime Minister of South Woodham Ferrers!

No hecklers, no mobile phones, no social media, no one under the age of 60

Our brand new Geocities web page is now live

21/05/2024

It’s a huge concern that the SWF Focus hasn’t allowed any of our whinging letters to be published recently.

We will be writing to Keir Starmer to demand an explanation for this clear oversight!

11/05/2024

Like you, we were disgusted to see that last night’s light pollution went to record levels. A clear failure of our Liberal Democrats-led city council to ensure the Chelmsford skies are clear in the evening.

We will be organising a protest in Compass Gardens at 2pm

05/03/2024

Like you all we were disgusted that Thefacebook was switched off earlier. Our leader was not able to throw sheep or poke anyone which is detrimental to the hard-working people of Woodham.

We have lobbied the Liberal Democrats about this appalling situation and will always stick up for the residents of SWF!

11/02/2024

It's election year and we're going to stand in the General Election for our Maldon constituency.

Our main policy is still SWFexit - Woodham should leave the United Kingdom to form our own micronation. This will benefit us financially as well as protect are borders against people from Bicknacre.

Will you be voting for us?

19/01/2024

We hear there are concerns about parking at the Village Hall being restricted to only three hours maximum and there's key pads to input your licence plate number.

Well rest assured we were left in charge of this scheme, so as you can already guess, it doesn't actually work nor is it functional in any way.

Please don't tell anyone though...shhhhh...people still think it is