20/09/2020
Posted • can play the biggest mind games on you.
•The last week or so I have been in the biggest funk regarding competing in a couple of weeks time at the prestigious Ben Weider Classic.
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I have felt soft, small, generally not good enough, to step on stage. Worrying whether or not I’ll be ready or worthy of stepping on stage.
It’s the most difficult thing to rationalise your thoughts this close to a show. You can’t see how lean you truly are, if your flat or fat etc etc.
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•You question everything. The last two years of improvement season- did I work hard enough? Even though I left every session the last year with my heart and soul on the gym floor.
•Have I made the necessary improvements to even think about stepping on such a stage? Even though I’m 20lbs heavier and leaner than my last show at ...
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•The mental grit and toughness one must endure is something I don’t think a lot of people realise they must acquire/learn before entering their first prep or bodybuilding journey. You’d think it would get easier the more shows you do, but I find, the more I do the harder I am on myself as I set such high expectations of myself.
•2days ago I reached out on the app - regarding my irrational fears. Willing to do some stupid things. Saying how I wasn’t feeling ready at all this close to a show, pulling out, etc. (Please do not comment on how lean/not lean I am/how silly my thoughts are at this present moment. If you’ve never grabbed the bull by the horns then do not call yourself a bull tamer. I have a coach- I listen to her and only her)
•Nearly all of the athletes on there calmed me down, made sense of my fears at the time and basically got me to come off of a spiralling panic attack. Jordan, Corinne, the community you have built is something beyond words special, and the athletes you have on the site/with the brand is a true testament to your judge of character- and just shows how truly special what you both are built is. I cannot thank you enough.
•Here’s to the last 13 days of this prep. Downing a bottle of ashwahganda every day for the foreseeab
