08/06/2026
PLEASE READ TO THE END.
๐ THE DAY I DEFENDED GARRI IN SCHOOL DEBATE ๐
Back in secondary school, our English teacher made the mistake of choosing me, Oladele, to represent my house in an Inter-school debate ๐ค๐
The topic was:
โWhich Is Better: Garri or Rice?โ
Immediately I heard it, I stood up and shouted:
โMadam, my mama is selling garri, I'm gonna win this debate....๐
The whole class burst into laughter.
My opponent was one fine girl from another school, Amara, representing Rice ๐โจ
She adjusted her tie like she was defending PhD thesis and said:
โRice is food of celebration ๐
No wedding is complete without rice.
No birthday is successful without rice.
No Sallah is genuine without rice.
No Christmas is valid without rice.
Nobody says:
โCome celebrate with us, we are serving soaked garri and groundnut.โโ
Crowd laughed ๐๐
She continued:
โRice has class ๐
Rice has packaging ๐
Rice has varieties:
Jollof, Fried, Coconut, Ofada, White Rice & Stew ๐
Rice enters party with confidence.
Rice wears suit and tie ๐
Garri enters in rubber bowl.โ
Audience screamed ๐ญ๐คฃ
Then she dropped final bomb ๐ฃ:
โRice is for champions ๐
Athletes eat rice.
Presidents eat rice.
Garri is what people eat when things are not moving well.โ
Thunderous applause ๐๐ฅ
Even my own classmates were clapping.
Traitors. ๐๐
Then it was my turn ๐
I adjusted my oversized school trousers and stepped forward like a warrior ๐บ
โGood day honorable judges, respected audience, and my opponent speaking under the influence of jollof propagandaโฆโ ๐คฃ
โToday I stand to defend not just a foodโฆ
I stand to defend a LEGEND ๐ชA SURVIVOR ๐ซก
A SAVIOR OF HUMANITY ๐I stand to defendโฆ
GARRI!!!โ......
Half the students shouted:
โYEEEEEE!!!โ ๐๐ฅ
I asked the judges:
โDo you have garri in your house?โ ๐
They laughed........
One judge nodded ๐.....
I shouted: โExactly! Because Garri is the LAST HOPE OF MANKIND!โ
When rice finishes โ Garri is there ๐ซก
When salary never enter โ Garri is there ๐ธ
When mummy says โmanage till month endโ โ Garri appears like superhero ๐ฆธ
Audience: โYEEEEEE!โ ๐คฃ
โRice is for parties ๐
Garri is for survival ๐ช
Rice is occasional ๐
Garri is dependable ๐ฏโ
Then I turned to Amara dramatically ๐ค๐
โCan rice save you in 30 seconds?!โ
โWhen hunger strikes by 11:47pm ๐
Can rice shout:
โMy son, I am ready!โ?โ
NO!
But Garri?
Add water ๐ง
Add sugar ๐ฌ
Add groundnut ๐ฅ
SALVATION HAS COME! ๐๐คฃ
Then I explained the meaning of GARRI ๐ญ๐ฅ
G โ Giver of Energy โก
A โ Attitude Changer ๐ค
R โ Restorer of Hope ๐
R โ Reducer of Weakness ๐ช
I โ Increaser of Agility ๐
โGarri has many names:โ
Student Power ๐
Life Support โค๏ธ
Hunger Destroyer ๐ฝ๏ธ
Emergency Department ๐
Federal Ministry of Survival ๐๏ธ๐คฃ
โGarri is loyal!โ
Cornflakes came and left ๐ฅฃ
Golden Morn disappointed ๐ญ
Noodles became expensive ๐ธ
But Garri remained faithful.
Faithful in dry season โ๏ธ
Faithful in rainy season ๐ง๏ธ
Faithful in suffering ๐ญ
Then I delivered the final blow ๐ฃ๐ฅ
โMy opponent said nobody serves garri in partyโฆโ
I paused dramatically ๐
โTHAT IS BECAUSE GARRI IS NOT A PARTY GUESTโฆโ
Entire hall went silent ๐
Then I shouted:
โGARRI IS FAMILY!!!โ ๐ ๐คฃ๐ฅ
Hall exploded ๐๐๐
I pointed at Amara one last time:
โRice is for enjoymentโฆ
GARRI IS FOR EMERGENCY AND ENJOYMENT!โ
Rice needs firewood ๐ฅ Rice needs gas โฝ
Rice needs pot ๐ฒ Rice needs time โณ
But u see Garri?Just bring cup and waterโฆWE MOVE! ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐จ๐คฃ
Thank you. ๐คโฌ๏ธ
Abeg did I win AMARA ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คท...
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