04/06/2026
In every relationship, everyone wants to be loved and cared for.
Often, love isn’t about what you give or how you give it, but about how they receive it.
Love exists in two forms: the giver’s version and the receiver’s version.
These may align or conflict.
However, the giver understands their reasons for loving the way they do, while the receiver may feel unloved and try to justify that feeling.
Still, we must learn to adapt how we love and how we want to be loved.
This is because selflessness is the foundation of every healthy and growing relationship.
Many relationships break because we assume we love someone in our way, but they still feel unloved, as there is a void in their heart we have yet to discover.
I’ve seen children whose parents shower them with material and financial gifts from childhood to adulthood, yet they still feel isolated and say they are not loved enough.
This makes parents see them as ungrateful. The same applies to couples, church members, and others.
To make your love towards someone acceptable and appreciated, consider the following:
1. Individual differences:
We all differ in perspective, taste, and feelings. That’s why we understand things differently.
A healthy relationship survives if we avoid comparisons. Don’t expect everyone to think like you.
You are different. What excites you may irritate others. So, take time to understand your spouse, friends, children, parents, and congregation to love them effectively.
This isn’t about justifying their actions but about genuinely connecting.
2. Communication:
This is vital for understanding point 1.
If you notice your efforts to show love aren’t appreciated, communicate openly.
Ask how they want to be loved. This will help you discover their love languages, which vary.
These include physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and giving gifts.
Someone may resonate with more than one.
For example, if you often give gifts to someone who values acts of service and quality time, they might prefer your help with chores, homework, errands, or just spending time talking or watching a movie.
To be continued...in the next page