11/06/2023
For a long time, I felt very sure I would be one and done.( yeah shock to those who know me well)
Not because I didn’t want more children but because I had experienced postpartum depression with my first child and it was so terrible that I didn’t want to have to go through it again.
Even more , I didn’t want to risk that I wouldn’t live through it. What if postpartum depression swallowed me up completely next time ?
Not many people talk about how much courage it takes to consider having more children after PPD, PPA, birth trauma , infertility or any other traumatic experiences.
Deciding to try for a second baby is the most brave thing I’ve done.
And if you can’t understand why that would be brave , then consider yourself privileged.
Thankfully history did not repeat itself the second time round, I’m early in this season of the baby stage , but I’m also further along I was with my first when PPD hit me . With the help of not putting so much pressure on myself with “how to feed”, talking to someone and my support system it has been beautiful but I also know not all women are that lucky .
So from one mom to another ….
If your postpartum experience was a blur and not the greatest, if your scared of having a second child because you almost drowned the first time , if you feel bad that family planning makes you dread instead of hope and have excitement, if you wonder whether you could ever open that door to pregnancy or postpartum again…. I’ve been there , and I see you .
It’s terrifying.
Please know and believe that your feelings are valid and they don’t make you less worthy of being a mom to you current child/children or any future children . In fact , they make you brave.
You are so brave🤍
