03/13/2022
Let’s take a second to talk about Caregiver Guilt, and how it invades your decision to cloth diaper (or any other decision for that matter).
Remember it? You’re a new Parent/Guardian and everything seems overwhelming. You’re both terrified and elated about this new life you’ve just become fully invested in. You spent months, even years, researching the best bottles, clothes, cribs, diapers and even wash cloths. You finally decided on what you want the nursery “theme” to be and all that was left was to bring home baby.
Then… you tell people your decisions.
You’ll get it all.
“You should breast feed, it’s better for their development.”
“If you breastfeed, you’ll never have a moment alone.”
“Organic is better.”
“Organic is a waste of time and money.”
“Staying at home is the best.”
“Go back to work so your child can learn to be with others.”
“Don’t pick them up when they cry.”
“Try not to let them cry.”
… and on and on and on.
They’ll criticize your registry, buy you things you don’t want or need. They’ll tell you about their baby and how they did it and expect you to follow suit.
Then, you get to the subject of diapering. You tell your family that you are cloth diapering, and you get an entire room full of disgusted looks. You add them to your registry, and everyone buys you disposables, “Just in case.”
Here’s a list of things they will say, and how you could answer.
“I can buy you diapers if you can’t afford them.” Thank you for your overwhelming concern. I can just take the money you would be spending on a box of diapers and put it towards our cloth diaper purchase.
“I’m not watching your baby if you expect me to use diapers.” Not necessary. Thank you for putting your relationship with my child into perspective.
“You won’t last long once you see how much work it is.” If that’s the case, I’ll be okay as long as I keep getting the fantastic support from my family.
“Those are bad for their development.” We’ll see, won’t we?
“I tried it when you were a baby, and it was a horrible decision.” I’m sorry your experience wasn’t a great one. I’m sure you tried your best with the constant support of your family and friends though.
My favorite: “It must be nice to have a luxury like that.” It is.
Give them something to think about while you’re still doing it how you want.
Don’t let their unwarranted advice and opinions get to your head. You’ll second guess yourself. You do you. If it doesn’t go the way you planned, you regroup and figure out a new plan. You got this.
Also, find a friend that will support you. We’re an entire community of people who just want to make sure we’re there for you when you feel discouraged, or proud of something. We will be just as excited as you, I promise. We've all been there.
Sometimes, your village is a group of people you’ve never met in real life, but you are closer to than your own family.
Thank you for coming to my Bu**umTalk. We hope to see you soon!
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