10/03/2024
Five of the fastest, slowest, most upside-down years. Missing my dad and forever aspiring to be more like him in his curiosity, conviction, creativity, decisiveness, attentiveness, light-heartedness, and joy.
I keep a small bundle of his papers in my dresser drawer—a to-do list, an airplane ticket, some notes and numbers from work—nothing serious or sentimental, but a small glimpse into what was on his mind or agenda during his last few days and somehow a comfort.
This morning I pulled them out to take a look at his handwriting and see if could feel connected to him for a second. I’d forgotten about the photos of the Chevy SuperSport. Carefully cut out and folded to pocket size.
I see so much of him in Lewis. The way he inquires about things, organizes his thoughts, how considerate and observant he is. His ability to delight in others and seek out the good in things. I can imagine Lewis similarly, methodically cutting out a photo of something he wants and carrying it around with him. A boyishness in both of them desiring something and deliberating on it, working towards a goal, hoping for something in a measured but tangible way.
Today I will try to seize that energy. Make a wish, set a goal, put it in my pocket, revisit, enjoy.