08/25/2026
Fricken bats… 🦇
Have you ever woken up to a BAT flying around your bedroom?! Because apparently that’s a thing we do now.
Let me set the scene…
It’s 3 a.m. Graeme gets up to let the dogs out, and out of the corner of my eye I see something fly by.
I’m half asleep, trying to focus my eyes when I finally go, “OMG DOUGIE, THERE’S SOMETHING IN HERE!”
From the other room: “HUH? WHAT?”
“COME HERE!!”
Graeme finally makes it to the bedroom, turns on the light, looks around and goes…
“That’s a f**ckin bat.”
AND THEN TURNS THE LIGHT OFF AND LEAVES THE ROOM.
Sir?!? 😂😂😂
I finally muster up enough courage to get myself and Butters out of the bedroom, and when I get into the hallway, there’s Graeme…
Wearing a winter jacket.
TWO pairs of gloves.
Holding a box AND a box lid.
Absolutely ready to go to war with this bat at 3 a.m.
I’m like, “HOLD UP. We are NOT chasing this thing around the house trying to catch it.”
Once we finally came out of our sleep stupor, we decided on a slightly less unhinged plan: get it into the bathroom, shut the doors, open the bathroom window and hope it flies out on its own.
Seems easy enough, right?
Except our bathroom has TWO doors—one into the bedroom and one into the hallway—and the hallway door sometimes doesn’t latch.
Guess which night it decided not to latch. 🙃
So now I’m standing INSIDE holding the bathroom door shut while Graeme goes OUTSIDE to watch the window and tell me what the bat is doing.
Picture this man outside at 3-something in the morning…
Winter jacket.
Two pairs of gloves.
Flashlight.
Broom.
Neighborhood Bat Patrol. 🫡🦇
Every few minutes I hear:
“IT’S LANDING! IT’S LANDING!”
So we start banging around trying to get it flying again.
Eventually, Graeme has the brilliant idea to turn the bathroom light on, hoping the bat will head toward the darkness outside through the open window.
And after AN HOUR AND A HALF of this absolute nonsense…
I can confidently report:
WE. ARE. BAT-LESS. 🦇✌️
Anyway, how was YOUR night? 😂
