Queen of nature crowns

05/10/2026

I was wondering why I was feeling down the last few days, grief is crazy some days you feel not other days your number to it. It's been a year since my son Joey passed away. I remember his passing the most because it was the Friday before mother's day. Happy birthday to all you beautiful Mom's but this is a special greeting to your mother's that are facing another mother's Day without your child. It can be beautiful and painful at the same time. Be kind to yourself, allow your heart to grief what you lost. Cry, kick, scream do whatever you have to do to get through the day. Know that you're loved and you're not alone. God bless you and I love you 💖.

05/05/2026

Phil. 4:11-13
Not that I was ever in need , for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.( 12.) I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. (13.) For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Learning to be content in any situation is not always easy. But looking at these words and seeing all that the Apostle Paul went through puts things in a different perspective. We are taught that in order to be content we have to be free from struggle. Our bank account has to be overflowing, our relationships are top notch , and all is right in our little world. Paul knew what it meant to have plenty. After all he was a Jew that followed the letter of the law. He had all that he needed and wanted at least that is what he thought until that day he met Jesus,that is when he learned true contentment. You see he knew true chains, he knew what it meant to be in jail. He knew what it meant to be shipwrecked, to be hungry and to be full. Yet none of that taught him true contentment like serving the Lord did. His life in Christ became more than enough. He knew that his savior would bring him through whatever came his way. He learned that in Christ all things are possible.
When I came to Oregon not everything was in order. We don't have running water, no electricity and the frist few weeks were hard. It was cold, isolated and lonely. These conditions were ripe for learning true contentment. I have learned that my current situation has nothing to do with the ability of my God. I've learned to change my perspective, to lean in and learn what God is trying to teach me. Don't get me wrong I have found myself complaining from time to time, I'm still a unique work in progress (🤣🤣🤣) but I'm learning to find joy in whatever situation that I'm in. My situation is not bigger than my God and no matter what he will bring me through it and teach me the skills that are needed to overcome and to thrive because there is truly nothing impossible for me to do when I abide in him.

04/24/2026

04/12/2026

Nobody talks about the in-between time. The time that comes after the calling, after the answer, after the obedience. Nobody talks about the isolation, the clarity that gets mixed in with chaos and a touch of doubt. Nobody talks about the loneliness you feel after you said yes Lord, your will be done. Everybody celebrates the decision you made to follow after the cross but so few stay when it becomes dark.
I think about David when Samuel poured the oil over his head and anointed him to be king. Did David leave his father's house and go straight into the castle and sit on the throne? No he went back into the wilderness and tended to the sheep that were in his charge. Then there is Joseph, he had a great and powerful dream that was given to him by God, did he go straight into royalty having people bow down to him. No he got pushed into a pit, sold into slavery, wrongly accused, put in a jail cell and forgotten. There are so many stories in the Bible that give us hope. Sometimes we get so caught up in the victory or the breakthrough that we forget the in-between time.
We forget the loneliness of the jail cell, the shame of the pit, and the isolation in the desert place. But all of this comes with the calling, it comes with the purpose that you were designed for. Because you have to be able to stand when everyone thinks you're crazy. You have to have faith that is built on God and not your own strength. You have to know that it's God who gives you directions and makes the way straight. You have to know God's truth, power , and purpose to see what he sees and shows you when nobody else gets it.
The in-between time is preparation. It's when you grow in the dark place, where you're built for a vision greater than you could imagine. I hate the in-between time. It's lonely, nobody gets you. You don't understand the isolation. What God has shown you is nothing like what is happening to you. You doubt yourself, you doubt if you heard the Lord right. But you still get up, you get up and you believe the vision even if it has shown itself yet.
God is never late in his promises to you, but when he leads you into isolation it's to finish the work he started in you.

03/26/2026

Check out my new YouTube channel.

03/21/2026

Sometimes we take for granted the beautiful world that God has given us. We don't find joy in the fact that God had woken us up this morning and that there is joy in that. I'm learning to find that joy again because there have been moments in my life where joy was so hard to find. Imagine sitting on the edge of your bed after your life has just fallen apart. That first day home after my baby passed away I had no idea how to act. I was in shock, trying to find a reason for what had just happened to me. My heart was broken not ready to accept what was going on while my mind and all its logic was torn between hope and reality.
The hope was that, this was all just a horrible nightmare and that when I woke up my baby boy would be healthy and alive. The reality was that he was gone, this was not a dream.
Waking up to each new day was not just hard but it was impossible. I knew that for my other children that I had to shower, put on a smile and get them ready for school and be there with Bells on when they returned. But in reality I hated waking up. Waking up meant that I had to deal with the day. I had to deal with my New reality. I was a mom that was preparing to bury her youngest child and there was no joy in that.
It took a long time for me to face the day, to wake up feeling refreshed. There were many dark lonely nights that bleed into my new mornings but I still got up. I got up with bags in my eyes, I got up to growing children asking what was for breakfast. I got up to piles of laundry that never seemed to get finished. Little by little I began to see joy return. You see people that know the deepest of pain and grief, understand the cost and the strength that comes with joy. They understand that joy isn't based on good or bad days. Joy isn't based on what we do or don't have. No joy isn't based on circumstances but it is based on who you have on your side. That someone that was on my side, was Jesus.
Jesus was the one that in my lowest, darkest moment in life he never left. When everyone had to go back to their busy lives Jesus stayed. He sat with me in the dark, he held my hand , and he dried my tears. I didn't have to be strong , he was strong enough

03/19/2026

Healing journey #21 ... He is doing great things..
Sometimes.in life you come to a place when you're good isn't good enough and it's time to trust in God and what he has for you. All my life I have been the one that people thought would never succeed. I'd never be more than a broken woman left behind with a bunch of Kids and nothing to offer. A part.of my soul believed that, but my spirit always knew that I was made for mote even when others including myself couldn't see it
When God revealed himself to me in such a tangible way, and I felt his love and understood his forgiveness I started seeing myself differently..you see sometimes others only see the version of you that they built up in their own minds, they don't often see that God is molding you into something extraordinary. Sometimes you don't even see that. You see that you have messed up everything in your life. You see your failures, the broken relationships, the shame, the guilt and all the things that never worked out. You see the overlooked, unseen, the misunderstood you that the world sees. But God sees something else, he sees the child that he is molding together, stitching and forming into that amazing work of art using everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly. He wasted nothing it all works for you and his glory,( Romans 8 28)
We often forget that God is at work in is because our outside doesn't match our inside. Our circumstance doesn't match his word so we feel stuck and forgotten but God has been known to do his best work in silent dark places, think about the tomb that they laid Jesus in. Every one thought that it was over when our Savior died on the cross. They thought for sure that all hope died with him. They had no idea what he was doing in the silent dark place. Hope was not lose, no the enemy was being stripped and defeated and redemption was being born. That's how it is in our lives. We see the word that God has spoken but nothing seems to be working out. The money that we need hasn't showed up, the people that we need to help us haven't came into the picture in fact it all looks a bit hopeless. But we don't see the work that God is doing in the silence. Don't give up now.

03/19/2026

Healing journey #20.. Standing on his word..
In times of transition it can get pretty lonely especially if you have decided to walk with Jesus all the way. When you finally say yes to Jesus and his call on your life things get a little dicey. You will find that you experience more resistance and the weight of pressure feels as if it's about to crush you. When this happens you have to stand on his word. Change is never easy it comes with chaos and cutting away of people, places and things that can no longer go with you into this new season that God is taking you too. You feel like an alien amongst people that you once thought were going with you into the new things of God. But sometimes God will start to allow some friendships and close relationships to begin to drift away because they don't see what you see. They are stuck on that old version of you that no longer exists. You see some people are comfortable with the you that is stuck on surface things, they cannot handle the you that God is taking deeper.
Without thinking they discourage you are they question your decisions because the you that they are used to is comfortable because it doesn't require them to go deeper. That's ok for them but for you it's not. You feel the gentle nudge of something more significant. You hear that whisper in your spirit that says , "you were made for more''. You cannot shake it. You cannot ignore it, you must surrender and answer it. It looks like your world is being shook and in all fairness it is. Things begin to dry up. Nothing is making sense You're trying to make it all work but no matter how you try it still falls apart.
You start to question yourself. You think that maybe these people are right. Who am I to think that I can start a ministry, business, relocate, change. Everything looks as if it's working against me not for me.
It's so easy to get caught up in worry and doubt during transition. Nothing looks pretty and sometimes it hurts. But I'm the deepest part of your spirit you know that you can't quit! You have to trust in the word that God spoke over you.

03/15/2026

Starting over can be hard. It can be hard on your mental and emotional state because you question the read you are starting over. Sometimes we are forced to start over. Relationships may fail, loss of a job, maybe a death in the family. There are so many reasons we have to start over in life. Our minds like to play with us , say negative things, " like your starting over again at your age, " if you hadn't failed you would not be starting over," the list can go on and on. That's why you have to be gentle and kind to yourself. You need to understand that starting over is a blessing. Starting over doesn't mean you've failed. Starting over can be amazing because you have this opportunity to become what you wanted to become all along. You've learned some lessons in the past few seasons, you're starting over from a point of healing and new vision.
I am staying over, not just spiritually, but physically. I'm moving to a place that I can truly see myself at home. I'm not the past unhealed version of last season, I'm the healing version of the season to come. All my life I have done what I thought was expected of me. I lived my life for everyone else. My kids are grown, now it's time to live for God and for me. Yes I'm going to be grandma but that carries a different responseablity. I'm excited for what God is doing and about to do. No more shrinking back, no more pouring into cups with holes in them. Noore accepting less than God's best.
If you're ready for God to take you where you've never been than it's time to surrender and shed that version of you that no longer fits where he is taking you. This is a new season and God is doing a new thing. He is doing the unexpected. It may feel heavy, but that's because you have never been at this point before. Don't be afraid, God knows what he is doing. You may not see the total picture but God will never led you where he can't sustain you. He will provide every step of the way. As I am writing this I'm ministering and encouraging myself. It's been really heavy since I said yes. The pressure has been intense and the resistance unbearable. But God would not speak a word over me that he want carry out. So I have trust in him.

03/12/2026

Healing journey #19... Counting the cost.
I admire the Apostle Paul, he was a Jew if ever there was a Jew. He knew the law inside and out, he could debate with the best of them, but one day on his way to Damascus he met the one that not just knew the law, but held salvation in his hands. Paul was on his way to put more Christians to death, now he found himself teaching and preaching to them. Isn't it funny how the things that we hold as valuable or nothing when it comes to the knowledge, love, and forgiveness of knowing Jesus Christ. Paul counted all that he had as dung, it was all garbage after having an encounter with the Lord.
Salvation is free Jesus paid that price so that we wouldn't have too. But nobody talks about the cost of following. I think that when we get saved we are so excited, we have stepped out of the old and into the new. What an amazing feeling it is when you say those beautiful words and now you are part of the most amazing family with the most loving God. Nobody tells you about the cost of following. This isn't to give anyone doubts about being saved and allowing Jesus to become your Lord and Savior. No getting saved was the best thing I ever did in life. But being a Christian isn't just surface, no it's more than just words it's life. As we look over the Apostle Paul's words we see that he has lost all things, that none of that stuff matters because he has come to understand that Jesus is absolutely everything.
As I get closer to God, as I say yes to his will for my life I am seeing how following will cost you. It will cost you, your will, your desires, your plans for his.
It will cost you relationships, friendships, jobs,and so much more.
Is it worth it?
I've decided to follow Christ. To step into the unfamiliar, to give up comfort for purpose and it is costing me everything that I thought I wanted. But to know him, to gain him, to have his righteousness instead of my own is worth it. In my life before Christ I did what I wanted to, it cost me so much pain and I gained nothing. But losing for Christ sake has gained me so much more than I could ever imagine. So yes it's so worth it. It's worth every tear.