01/05/2026
Kicking off 2026 with a Panty Party! Except please, call them underwear. "Panty" is so vulgar,. This is the Midwest, we're a modest people.
VS had a dynamite sale on undos (pronounced un-dohs), but of course you had to spend $49 to get the free shipping, so I began purchasing underwear for other people who did not ask for this service but WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE? $3 unds, you have to buy quite a few to get the free shipping. I started Oprah Winfreying underwear to everyone I know.
That's not exactly true, this story took a turn for the dramatic. There was a baller sale, and I did get that free shipping (what choice did I have?), but I only bought skivs for my immediate family. I dyed them up and gifted them on Christmas.
I did NOT get a thank you. 😐
The moral of the story is, don't buy underwear for other people. Certainly don't dye them, gift them at Christmas and then when they are opened, shout "it's your party panties!"
Don't worry, my fam is used to this s**t. Happy 2026! Here's to having a pair of un**es that will hide any stain. 🥳