05/09/2022
❤️ Twins Made Me a Mother ❤️
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I knew nothing other than two...Nothing other than you.
I wasn't fully prepared to be a mother of twins.
I wasn’t prepared for the anxious, seemingly endless nights,
the worry and stress over each ounce gained or lost,
the feelings of being torn in two, not knowing who to soothe first.
I wasn't prepared to feel desperate for sleep, help, comfort, even at times escape.
I wasn’t prepared to trust my body with the seemingly impossible task of feeding two hungry babies.
I wasn't prepared to feel a deep, primal jealousy of friends with “just one”,
To constantly question if there had been a mistake, if I was really cut out for this.
I also wasn't prepared for every second of hardship to be wiped away by just a few sweet moments in our day,
Like the smell of two little heads or the feel of four chubby arms wrapped around me.
I hadn't been prepared for the please-freeze-time moment of having two warm babies snuggled together and sleeping on my chest.
I wasn't prepared for the ache of love in my heart when I opened their door each morning,
Two huge gummy smiles stretched ear to ear, greeting the center of their universe.
I wasn't prepared for how incredible it was to witness two babies first recognize their best friend as they looked into each other’s eyes,
For how sweet the sound of the them laughing and babbling was, tucked into their own little universe.
I wasn't prepared to feel healed, seeing my twice-answered prayers sit right before me,
How powerful I’d feel knowing I created these beautiful little beings.
I hadn’t been prepared to become a mother of two tiny, fragile babies at once - but the gratitude I have for them brings me to my knees.
It takes my breath away.
Still to this day, even when I can't imagine being stretched any farther,
My heart infinitely fills with enough love for them both.
I am so thankful to them, to the universe, for choosing me.
For making me a mother in the only way I know,
The only way I can,
And the only way I would ever want to be. ❤️
Happy Mother's Day to everyone fortunate enough to have been made a mother by twins. 💞