10/24/2024
Hey, friends ❤️
Trigger warning: mental health post
I want you to know that if you saw me this weekend, spoke with me, gave me a hug, I so appreciate you.
I also want you to know that after processing my weekend, I was not okay. I thought I could “bounce back” into work and “the scene” so to speak, and not have or deal with emotions that may arise. I thought my emotions would stay in check and there’s absolutely nothing that could happen that would make suppressed emotions come to the surface. I thought I had already dealt with my feelings. I have a great therapist, a wonderful partner, and some really great friends who know how to listen.
It turns out that this weekend was difficult for me, and that my family did go through a tragic event, and I’m allowed to feel a range of feelings—I just didn’t realize that I had been suppressing them.
So, if you saw me, and I seemed like I was masking, I was. Big time. Yes, it was still me, but it was me with a wall up so I didn’t have to feel all the things. And believe me—I’m still sick, and my body is tired. I am finally learning about what taking care of myself should look and feel like.
I’m grateful to the friend who pointed it out to me. I’m grateful I have friends and a therapist whom I can call to bawl my eyes out. I’m also grateful to my husband who came home with cookies and ice cream Monday night and didn’t judge me one bit when I had both, then went to bed early. Not everyone has that, and I consider myself lucky to have my support system.
If you need a therapist, I have had phenomenal luck using psychologytoday.com. There are so many search filters that make finding someone for you a relief.
P.S. y’all are so supportive, but I’m turning comments off for this one so I can rest today ❤️