Wyoming Border Patrol

Wyoming Border Patrol The internet’s least-funded border agency. Patrolling Wyoming’s southern border for tourists, bad drivers, and campsite squatters.

Official Wyoming Border Patrol Gear
Made for People Who Get the Joke

🥊 THE WATER WAR IS COMING 🥊In one corner: Colorado Governor Jared Polis.In the other: 100% Wyoming beef, fueled by black...
08/27/2026

🥊 THE WATER WAR IS COMING 🥊

In one corner: Colorado Governor Jared Polis.

In the other: 100% Wyoming beef, fueled by black coffee, bad intentions and an absolute refusal to share a single damn drop—BUFORD.

Two men. Two ways. One Wyoming.

The fight for Wyoming’s water begins…and ends…with BUFORD vs. POLIS, Live on Pay-Per-View.*

Who are you putting your money on? Sound off in the comments. 👇

*This fight is completely fictional. No governors were harmed, and no athletic commission would return our calls.

08/27/2026

🥊 THE WATER WAR IS COMING. 💧

Buford’s been talking about protecting Wyoming’s water for a long time.

Apparently… talking time is over.

The gloves are on. Training camp has begun. And Buford has a message for Colorado Governor Jared Polis:

Wyoming’s water isn’t leaving without a fight.

🥊 BUFORD vs. POLIS
💧 Wyoming vs. Colorado
🏔️ Winner gets… well, we probably shouldn’t legally say that.

Polis, consider this your official invitation.

LET’S SETTLE IT IN THE RING.

Tag somebody who needs to be in Buford’s corner. 😂👇

Jared Polis Governor Jared Polis Governor Mark Gordon

🚨 THE WAIT IS OVER — THEY’RE HERE. 🚨The newest Wyoming Border Patrol shirts are officially IN STOCK and SHIPPING NOW.No ...
08/24/2026

🚨 THE WAIT IS OVER — THEY’RE HERE. 🚨

The newest Wyoming Border Patrol shirts are officially IN STOCK and SHIPPING NOW.

No more pre-orders. No more waiting for the shipment to show up. The shelves are loaded, the shirts are stacked, and we’re getting orders out the door.

If you’ve been waiting to grab yours, now’s the time. There's only 2 weeks left until the "Border War" Game vs. CSU on September 5th!

📦 IN STOCK
🚚 SHIPPING NOW
🤠 Ready to offend your favorite Coloradan

👉 wyomingborderpatrol.com

Get yours before we have to start explaining why the shelves are empty again.

08/21/2026

🚨 SUSPECTED CALIFORNIANS AT THE BORDER 🚨

They saw the checkpoint. They saw Buford. They kept driving.

Big mistake.

Fortunately, Rip was waiting down the road to provide a warm Wyoming welcome—and a complimentary roadside inventory inspection.

No Californians were harmed during this routine border-enforcement operation. Their security deposit, however, is probably gone.

Tag someone who needs to see this. 🤠

Wyoming's Rib & Chop House - Cheyenne

WyomingBorderPatrol.com

08/20/2026

Congratulations to Daron L. Wyatt for Albany County Sheriff

The Wyoming Border Patrol looks forward to working alongside Sheriff Wyatt to protect our communities, preserve the Wyoming way of life, and—most importantly—keep our southern border secure. 🤠

There’s a lot of traffic coming north these days. Good to know Albany County has another set of eyes on the border. 👀

Congratulations, Sheriff Wyatt. We’ll see you at the checkpoint.

Protect Wyoming. Defend the Border.

🦬 Wyoming Border Patrol

Apparently being cool back home doesn’t transfer across state lines. 🤠You asked, and we listened!The new California and ...
08/18/2026

Apparently being cool back home doesn’t transfer across state lines. 🤠

You asked, and we listened!

The new California and Utah Border Violation Stickers are officially available. Perfect for trucks, coolers, toolboxes—and those out-of-state friends who need a gentle reminder.

Order now at WyomingBorderPatrol .com

08/17/2026

Wyoming doesn’t need another career politician, bureaucrat, or résumé in a cowboy hat.

It needs Buford.

He may not have the fancy degrees, political connections, or perfectly rehearsed answers—but he’s got common sense, a healthy distrust of Colorado, and enough confidence to govern at least two states.

Watch Buford explain why he’s the only candidate qualified to protect Wyoming from outsiders, nonsense, and the other people running for governor.

✍️ Write in Buford for Governor of Wyoming in 2026.

Because the other candidates have qualifications—and look where that’s gotten us.

08/15/2026

Enjoy getting to know the CHOADS 🤣

08/15/2026

🚨 MEET THE CHOADS. 🚨

Colorado has officially sent us their best.

Unfortunately, these are their best.

ASPEN — Ski-bro. Lifestyle expert. Probably refers to every mountain as “his backyard.” Owns enough Patagonia to qualify as a retail location.

SKYE — CHOAD’s walking HR department. Ready to protect the border from problematic language, incorrect pronouns, and anything that makes her feel “unsafe.”

Together, they proudly serve the Colorado Highway Ordinance Authority Division.

Yes.

C.H.O.A.D.

And somehow… they put that on the uniforms voluntarily.

Welcome to the Wyoming border, Skye and Aspen.

We have a feeling you two are going to fit in terribly. 😂

👇 WATCH THE NEW REEL & MEET THE CHOADS

Tag the most Colorado person you know.

www.wyomingborderpatrol.com

Address

108 Howe Road
Laramie, WY
82070

Telephone

+13077615508

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